So, I had this amazing insight.

Diseases of overeating such as obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, hernia, fatty liver, and their by-products such as lung infection and heart attacks don’t happen because people are so greedy that they can’t stop consuming.

They happen because people are so destitute of spirit that nothing they experience satisfies them, and beneath their own awareness they seek the solace of the one moment that reminds them of a mother’s love: food.

They happen because the one pleasure they can rely on and control, perhaps the one pleasure in an entire long day of labor, is a tasty treat.

They happen because of material poverty and impoverished souls.

They happen because of loneliness, spiritual desolation, and stress.

They even happen because of numbness and boredom and ignorance. Because they have never yet found anything that could touch them more deeply than this sweet swallow.

The real solution is becoming present, breathing in the now, and enjoying what you have.

But it’s easier said than done when you have next to nothing, when you have no assurance that you won’t be dead in the gutter next month if you can’t come up with rent, when you’re working so hard you can’t even catch a breath, or when you’re afraid to share happiness with someone you love or be your true self because it’s illegal, or when you married someone super-rich but have no heart communication with the man you swore your life to, or when your mother was so self-centered that she never praised your accomplishments so nothing you do is ever enough for her, because it only reminds her of how her own father ignored any attempt she made to shine, because he was taught above all to never stand out, it was too dangerous as an immigrant. Just be average and then you could be ignored. Or you had to excel, you drilled your brain to be better than anyone else just to be allowed to live.

A mother’s love may not be pure. Generations of trauma shape our psyches far more than we will ever know.

Go sit in a warm sunny spot outside, or in a sunny window, or in front of a blooming scented flower. Close your eyes. Think about the damages in your body. Any scars, wounds, diseases, genetic errors, mending bones, torn muscles. Now imagine each sore spot is a forefather, a grandmother, an aunt, a great uncle, a distant cousin. Imagine your ancestors, the incredible hardship they endured. The pain they visited on one another. The punishments they received and too often passed on, father to son, until one person said, enough. You can be this person. Inhale this moment’s sunlight, or this blossom’s fragrance, into your heart. Send that sweet light to each one of your damaged parts. Forgive them. Thank them. They endured so that you, spirit of this moment of discovery, could be born. Understand, this was not a selfless sacrifice. This was sheer survival. You are their genes, their treasure, their reward. Exhale and let them go. See them melt into light, becoming one with a greater Love, an infinite Love in the ideal Heart, that heals and purifies and unifies. You are allowed to be happy. You are wished well. You are blessed to be alive because of all the gifts of your family, hobbled though they may be. You may come into the present. You may move with lightness into power, with power into light. You can expand yourself into greater love and wisdom than you or your ancestors have ever known. You may give your descendants a new dance of delight. You may heal now.

Necessity is a mother, and you are her reward.

Perhaps nothing will change instantly. But perhaps as you relax the tension wrapping the past around your being, you will be able to allow more being, more presence, more atten-dance, more attention to dance, into your limbs and organs and systems. Perhaps with time and practice, this softer allowing of swirling love will caress and careen care deeper inside you than even food can go. Perhaps the next step of this dance is not the anxiety of your future, but right here, right now.